User Profile

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"This is blood for blood and by the gallon. These are the old days, the bad days, the all-or-nothing days. They're back! There's no choice left. And I'm ready for war."-Marv (Movie, Sin City)

"We shouldn't be starting a war. The big guy doesn't start a fight with a little guy. We learned that with wrestling."-Ted Turner (Founder Of Turner Broadcasting)

"Hell's waking up every goddamn day and not even knowing why you're here."-Marv (Movie, Sin City)

"Things happen for a reason -- it is or it isn't meant to be: that simple."-Christy Hemme (TNA Knockout)

"For the people who believe, you don't have to explain, and for the people who don't believe, no explanation is good enough." - Jeff Jarrett (TNA Wrestler)

"A Man's lonliness is only his fear of life."-The Grim Reaper (TV Show, The Grim Adventures Of Billy and Mandy)

"What if I'm wrong? I've got a condition. I get confused sometimes. What if I've imagined all this? What if I've finally turned into what they've always said I would turn into? A maniac. A psycho killer."-Marv (Movie, Sin City)

"People who live angrily in the past eventually die there."-Jim Ross (WWE RAW Commentator)

“You must show no mercy…nor have any belief whatsoever in how others judge you…for your greatness will silence them all.”-The Ultimate Warrior (Former WWE Superstar)

"Do not die to meet me, Live to love me."-Jeff Hardy (WWE Wrestler)

"And after I pull off that miracle, maybe I'll go punch out God."-John Hartigan (Movie, Sin City)

"Sometimes you drink the milk, sometimes the milk DRINKS you."-Mandy (TV Show, The Grim Adventures Of Billy and Mandy)

"The only thing I know for sure about life and the wrestling business is that it will be different tomorrow than it is today. It is constantly a kaleidoscope that is subject to change."-Jerry Jarrett (Founder of TNA Wrestling)

"You know how you deal with Bullies? You punk 'em out then ya beat 'em up"-Batista (WWE Wrestler)

"I'm only sorry I didn't come [To Afghanistan] earlier this month. Somebody told me I missed a chance to meet Vince McMahon, Big Show, and Triple H."-Dick Cheney (Vice President)

"The only thing greater than knowledge, is imagination."-Jeff Hardy (WWE Wrestler)

"They look at me – what I fight for, what I stand for, what I've become and they remember what I was. There's a group of people out there that just want to see a whole different side of me. A side that's black, ruthless, evil, maniacal, pompous, crass, a little bit sexual…been there, done that. I don't think so, but I'll call you later. They want me to look them dead in the eye – the people that boo me every week, look them dead in the eye and tell them that they absolutely sss……but if I go that route, if I do that – I'd end up just like you."-John Cena (WWE Wrestler)


"I'm illogical? Christ, I'm like freaking Spock over here!"-Mike Ferraro (Personal Friend)

"Hell is waking up everyday and not even knowing why your alive."-Marv (Movie, Sin City)

"Religion is about your relationship with the Lord and no one elses."-Eddie Guerrero (WWE Wrestler, R.I.P.)

"I'm weird. I still believe that when you do good deeds you get something back in return. That's why I really enjoy helping other guys succeed."-Matt Hardy (WWE Wrestler)

“[the WWE enthusiasts] were among my smartest, geekiest students out there; always the ‘A’ students who always went the extra yard on their papers. I could certainly say that there is a correlation between really good male students and an interest in wrestling."-Robert Thompson, Ph.D. (Doctor)

"Saddness is for poor people!"-??? (Unknown)

"The normal make a living, the deranged make history."-Christopher Titus (TV Show, Titus)

"If you don't stand for something... You'll fall for anything."-Matt Hardy (WWE Wrestler)

"All wrestling fans are cute in their own way."-Christy Hemme (TNA Knockout)

"You can't forget where you came from. I was just a kid trying to make it in a crazy business where there is no money. If you forget where you come from, then you will be just another cocky wrestler that nobody likes." - AJ Styles (TNA Wrestler)

"...It couldn't of been me. My mom took away all my guns."-Steve Miller (Personal Friend)

"Matt's the leader, I'm second in charge, and Jeff sleeps. I don't know how he gets to the building sometimes."-Lita (WWE Wrestler)

"You can ask God and others for all the help you want, but you better bring the shovel because you’ve got to do the work."-Eddie Guerrero (WWE Wrestler)

"Sure I smoke, I enjoy the occasional drink, and who doesn't love boobs?"-Alex Shelly (TNA Wrestler)

"I don’t like any sports that are fake."-Paul Heyman (ECW Founder)

"You want to play MIND GAMES with ME?! I've got a game! Let's play COME OUT SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!"-Kane (WWE Wrestler)

"People are dying in the ring for that title, so it's one I'll kill for."-Rhino (TNA Wrestler)

"What the hell are you doing here, Jeff Hardy?! Didn't you die like three years ago?!"-Edge (WWE Wrestler)

"We're ALL Hungry Hippos. The marbles represent obstacles in our life that block our Chi." -Rob Van Dam (ECW Extremist)

"Sure that might be herbs he's adding, but it's Jeff Hardy so you just don't know, do you?"-Alex Shelly (TNA Wrestler)

"What you lookin' at? You all a bunch of fuckin' assholes. You know why? You don't have the guts to be what you wanna be? You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fuckin' fingers and say, "That's the bad guy." So... what that make you? Good? You're not good. You just know how to hide, how to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth. Even when I lie. So say good night to the bad guy! Come on. The last time you gonna see a bad guy like this again, let me tell you. Come on. Make way for the bad guy. There's a bad guy comin' through! Better get outta his way!"-Tony Montana (Movie, Scarface)

"Its better to have a condemned soul then no soul at all"-Raven (TNA Wrestler)
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"Nothing can happen till you swing the bat."-Haruko (TV Show, Fooly Cooly)

"Dreams are for rookies, kid."-Phil (Movie, Disney's Hercules)

"Are you truly so blinded by your vaunted religion, that you can't see the fall ahead of you?"-Zeratul (Video Game, Starcraft)

"When it comes down to it, there are very few people who will swing the bat."-Amarao (TV Show, Fooly Cooly)

"There is no shame in defeat so long as the spirit is unconquered."-Fenix (Video Game, Starcraft)

"Sometimes... believing is all we have."-Lisa (Movie, Team America)

"It takes an idiot to do cool things. That's why it's cool."-Haruko (TV Show, Fooly Cooly)

"That's why I say he's the greatest guy in the world to work for - because he's an idiot."-Shawn Micheals (WWE Wrestler)

"If there's trouble, all us freaks have is each other." -Abe Sapien (Movie, Hellboy)

"In the absence of light, darkness prevails."-Professor Trevor Bruttenholm (Movie, Hellboy)

"What makes a man a man? A friend of mine once wondered. It's the choices he makes. Not how he starts things, but how he finishes them."-John Myers (Movie, Hellboy)

"My uncle used to say that we like people for their qualities but we love them for their defects."-John Myers (Movie, Hellboy)

"A legend is nothing but fiction. Someone tells it, someone else remembers, everybody passes it on."-Solid Snake (Video Game, Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons Of Liberty)

"Bitch, what you don't know about me I can just about squeeze in the Grand fucking Canyon."-Silent Bob (Movie, Chasing Amy)

"I hate people, but I love gatherings. Isn't that ironic?"-Randal Graves (Movie, Clerks)

"You know, there's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."-Silent Bob (Movie, Clerks)

"sometimes i love wrestling because we're all a bunch of rabid die-hard fans. but sometimes i hate it because no one understands us."-Sarah (Personal Friend)

"What's the point of having an internet connection if your not using it to look up weird fucked up pictures of dirty sex you'd never have yourself?"-Randal Graves (Movie, Clerks 2)

"Mass genocide is the most exhausting activity one can engage in, outside of soccer."-Loki (Movie, Dogma)

"I have issues with anyone who treats faith as a burden instead of a blessing. You people don't celebrate your faith; you mourn it." -Serendipity (Movie, Dogma)

"When are you people going to learn? It's not about who's right or wrong. No denomination's nailed it yet, and they never will because they're all too self-righteous to realize that it doesn't matter what you have faith in, just that you have faith. Your hearts are in the right place, but your brains need to wake up."-Serendipity (Movie, Dogma)

"I don't want this, it's too big. That's what Jesus said. Yes, I had to tell him. And you can imagine how that hurt the Father - not to be able to tell the Son Himself because one word from His lips would destroy the boy's frail human form? So I was forced to deliver the news to a scared child who wanted nothing more than to play with other children. I had to tell this little boy that He was God's only Son, and that it meant a life of persecution and eventual crucifixion at the hands of the very people He came to enlighten and redeem. He begged me to take it back, as if I could. He begged me to make it all not true. And I'll let you in on something, Bethany, this is something I've never told anyone before... If I had the power, I would have."-Metatron (Movie, Dogma)

"Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything left to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgment, lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God."-Loki (Movie, Dogma)

"Oh, I think we'd like God on our side at the moment, don't you?"-Stanley Goodspeed (Movie, The Rock)

"For those regarded as warriors, when engaged in combat the vanquishing of thine enemy can be the warrior's only concern. Suppress all human emotion and compassion. Kill whoever stands in thy way, even if that be Lord God, or Buddha himself. This truth lies at the heart of the art of combat."-Hattori Hanzo (Movie, Kill Bill Vol. 1)

"When fortune smiles on something as violent and ugly as revenge, it seems proof like no other, that God exists, and not only does He exist, you're doing His will."-The Bride (Movie, Kill Bill Vol 1)

"Revenge is never a straight line. It's a forest, And like a forest it's easy to lose your way... To get lost... To forget where you came in."-Hattori Hanzo (Kill Bill Vol. 1)

"As you know, l'm quite keen on comic books. Especially the ones about superheroes. I find the whole mythology surrounding superheroes fascinating. Take my favorite superhero, Superman. Not a great comic book. Not particularly well-drawn. But the mythology... The mythology is not only great, it's unique. Now, a staple of the superhero mythology is, there's the superhero and there's the alter ego. Batman is actually Bruce Wayne, Spider-Man is actually Peter Parker. When that character wakes up in the morning, he's Peter Parker. He has to put on a costume to become Spider-Man. And it is in that characteristic Superman stands alone. Superman didn't become Superman. Superman was born Superman. When Superman wakes up in the morning, he's Superman. His alter ego is Clark Kent. His outfit with the big red "S", that's the blanket he was wrapped in as a baby when the Kents found him. Those are his clothes. What Kent wears - the glasses, the business suit - that's the costume. That's the costume Superman wears to blend in with us. Clark Kent is how Superman views us. And what are the characteristics of Clark Kent. He's weak... he's unsure of himself... he's a coward. Clark Kent is Superman's critique on the whole human race."-Bill (Movie, Kill Bill Vol. 2)

"Some things, once you do, they can never be undone."-Bill (Movie, Kill Bill Vol. 2)

"I don't know about angels, but it's fear that gives men wings."-Max Payne (Video Game, Max Payne)

"One thing you can count on: You push a man too far, and sooner or later he'll start pushing back."-Max Payne (Video Game, Max Payne)

"Dreams have a nasty habit of going bad when you're not looking."-Max Payne (Video Game, Max Payne)

"The past is a puzzle, like a broken mirror. As you peice it together, your image keeps shifting. And you change with it. It could destroy you, drive you mad. It could set you free."-Max Payne (Video Game, Max Payne 2)

"Throw the rules out the window, odds are you'll go that way too."-Max Payne (Video Game, Max Payne 2)

"The trouble with wanting something is the fear of losing it, or never getting it. The thought makes you weak." -Max Payne (Video Game, Max Payne 2)

"The genius of the hole: no matter how much time you spend climbing out, you can still fall back down in an instant."-Max Payne (Video Game, Max Payne 2)

"These aren't manifestos. The whole record works as one. "Bummer" is about the experience of having Vegas be like The Jerry Springer Show and the girls who want you to be Satan the night before and're disappointed your not a nice guy the morning after. And that situation isn't about sex. I think these women—people—are more interested in being recognized. "Powertrip" is about those pot-smoking clowns who go around saying "It's all good." Guess what? If you think this is good you're fucked up. I was trying to make it my retirement song knowing full well I'm a workaholic."-Dave Wyndorf

"All it takes is one bad day to make a normal man go insane"-The Joker (The Batman)
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"I'm somebody now, Harry. Everybody likes me. Soon, millions of people will see me and they'll all like me. I'll tell them about you, and your father, how good he was to us. Remember? It's a reason to get up in the morning. It's a reason to lose weight, to fit in the red dress. It's a reason to smile. It makes tomorrow all right. What have I got Harry, hm? Why should I even make the bed, or wash the dishes? I do them, but why should I? I'm alone. Your father's gone, you're gone. I got no one to care for. What have I got, Harry? I'm lonely. I'm old. Sure I got friends... Ah but, it's not the same. They don't need me. I like the way I feel. I like thinking about the red dress and the television and you and your father. Now when I get the sun, I smile."-Sara Goldfarb (Movie, Requiem For A Dream)

"No, no. No, see this is a really shit idea. You know why? Because it's really obviously a shit idea."-Jim (Movie, 28 Days Later)

"He was full of plans. Have you got any plans, Jim? Do you want us to find a cure and save the world or just fall in love and fuck? Plans are pointless. Staying alive's as good as it gets."-Selena (Movie, 28 Days Later)

"If you put your mind to it, you can accomplish anything."-Marty McFly (Movie, Back To The Future)

"We can't run from ourselves, our destiny chooses us."-Professor Petrovsky (Movie, Rounders)

"It hurts doesn't it? Your hopes dashed, your dreams down the toilet. And your fate is sitting right besides you."-Teddy KGB (Movie, Rounders)

"Some men are born great. Others have greatness thrust upon them.'-FDR (Movie, Night At The Museum)

"You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?"-The Mask (Movie, The Mask)

"Most of the men in this town think monogamy is some kind of wood."-Peggy Brandt (Movie, The Mask)

"Forget her, Stanley... That girl will tear your heart out, put it in a blender and hit "frappe."- Charlie Schumacher

"You were good, kid, real good. But as long as I'm around, you'll always be second best, see?"-The Mask

"Behind every great man... is a woman rolling her eyes"-Bruce (Movie, Bruce Almighty)

"Bingo! Yahtzee! Is that your final answer? Our survey says... God! Bing bing bing bing bing! Well God, nice job on the Grand Canyon, and good luck with the Apocalypse. Oh, and by the way: you *SUCK*!"-Bruce (Movie, Bruce Almighty)

"People want me to do everything for them. What they don't realize is that they have the power. You want to see a miracle? Be the miracle."-God (Movie, Bruce Almighty)

"God is a mean kid sitting on an anthill with a magnifying glass, and I'm the ant. He could fix my life in five minutes if He wanted to, but he'd rather burn off my feelers and watch me squirm."-Bruce (Movie, Bruce Almighty)

"You know that everything happens for a reason. Pssshhh See, that I don't need. That is a cliché. That is not helpful to me. "A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush"... I have no bird, I have no bush. God has taken my bird and my bush."-Bruce (Movie, Bruce Almighty)

"Yeah, let's thank God, shall we? For his blessings are raining down upon me. Wait, that's not rain!"-Bruce (Movie, Bruce Almighty)

"Not fast enough. If you really want to make a difference, want to change the system instead of just patching it, you've got to step into the sunlight. Take over, like we did."-Lord Batman (TV Show, Justice League)

"I thought you were a guardian angel come to answer our prayers. But Lucifer was an angel too, wasn't he?"-Professor Emil Hamilton (TV Show, Justice League)

"World very simple place. World only have two things: Things you can eat and things you no can eat."-Quina (Video Game, Final Fantasy 9)

"To be forgotten, is worse than death!"-Freya (Video Game, Final Fantasy 9)

"You guys heard it from the beginning, I'm black, okay!?!" - Jay Lethal (TNA Wrestler)

"Greatest heel turn ever ... or has God always been a heel?"-PureEvilution (Corporation-X Member)

"Me and my friends got into a knife fight... We thought it'd be fun!"-Steve Miller

"What is it you said to the kid? The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows. It's a very rough, mean place... and no matter how tough you think you are, it'll always bring you to your knees and keep you there, permanently... if you let it. You or nobody ain't never gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain't about how hard you hit... it's about how hard you can get hit, and keep moving forward... how much you can take, and keep moving forward. If you know what you're worth, go out and get what you're worth. But you gotta be willing to take the hit."-Rocky Balboa (Movie, Rocky Balboa)

"Oh so I see, "White Christmas" is all sunshine and bullshit but a "Black Christmas" has to be a horror movie?"-Cryme Tyme

"Tonight, we have a chance to say, 'Yeah, you're right. We're too extreme. We're too wild. We're too out of control. We're too full of our own shit.' Or we have a chance to say, 'Hey, fuck you, you're wrong! Fuck you, we're right!' Because you have all made it to the dance. 'Cause believe me, this is the dance!"-Paul Heyman (Movie, Beyond The Mat)

"I'm going to make you beg. You're going to get down on your hands and knees. You will be the one that grovels for the money. And how appropriate... that the money you grovel for is your very own. Wallowing in the muck of avarice." -Jake The Snake Roberts (Movie, Beyond The Mat)

"My mother was 13 years old when I was born. Why? Because my dad raped a little girl that was in a room asleep. My dad was going out with my mother's mother. There you go. There's some bones for Jake the Snake. "-Jake The Snake Roberts (Movie, Beyond The Mat)

“Wrestling? Is that like where the people fight each other? That is sooo barbaric. That’s what the dinosaurs did. Dinosaurs are stupid. What was the question again?”-Paris Hilton (Villiage Idoit)

"This might not mean anything to you, but I think I'm in a tragedy."-Harold Crick (Movie, Stranger Than Fiction)

"What if, on a crowded street, you look up and see something appear that should not, given what we know, be there. You either shake your head and dismiss it, or you accept that there is much more to the world than we think. Perhaps it really is a doorway to another place. If you choose to go inside you may find many unexpected things...."-Shigeru Miyamoto (Creator Of Mario)

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"When you decide to be something, you can be it. That's what they don't tell you in the church. When I was your age they would say we can become cops, or criminals. Today, what I'm saying to you is this: when you're facing a loaded gun, what's the difference?"-Frank Costello (Movie, The Departed)

"If we're not gonna make it, it's gotta be you that gets out, cause I'm not capable. I'm fucking Irish, I'll deal with something being wrong for the rest of my life."-Colin Sullivan (Movie, The Departed)

"You accuse me once, I put up with it. You accuse me twice... I quit. You pressure me to fear for my life and I will put a fucking bullet in your head as if you were anybody else. Okay?"-Billy Costigan (Movie, The Departed)

"One of us had to die. With me, it tends to be the other guy."-Frank Costello (Movie, The Departed)

"Marriage is an important part of getting ahead. It lets people know you're not a homo. A married guy seems more stable. People see the ring, they think, "At least somebody can stand the son of a bitch." Ladies see the ring, they know immediately that you must have some cash, and your cock must work."-Ellerby (Movie, The Departed)

"What's wrong with this fucking country? Everybody hates everybody!"-Pakistani Proprietor (Movie, The Departed)

"Frustrated isn't the goddamn word for it! This is BULLSHIT! You screwed me, everybody screws me and nobody does a goddamn thing about it! Nobody in the building cares, nobody in the dressing room cares, so much goddamn injustice around here, I've had it up to here! You know it, I know it, EVERYBODY knows it, I should be the World Wrestling Federation Champion! Everybody just keep turning a blind eye to it, you keep turning a blind eye to it, I've got that Gorilla Monsoon, he turns a blind eye to it, Everybody in that goddamn dressing room knows that I'm the best there is, the best there was and the best there ever will be. And if you don't like it, tough SHIT!"-Bret Hart (Canadian Wrestler)

"They said would be different when I got older. But they lied, in high school, I was despised, I was hated and I was attacked for being different. It's no different now. I'm still hated, I'm still despised, and I'm still attacked on a regular basis."-Raven (ECW Wrestler)

"We all need a haven, a sanctuary, a place to hide, a place to escape, a place to dream and hope, a place where the darkness won't seem so frightening. So it is written, so it shall come to pass. But for some the darkness is a relentless enemy that cannot be eluded. And once the darkness senses your fear, once it senses your pain, it is never far behind. I can empathize with these people. I can understand their futilly, I can feel their hopelessness. I feel their pain."...."Quote The Raven Nevermore"-Raven (ECW Wrestler)

"At desperate times, desperate people do desperate things."-Bobby Heenan (WCW Commentator)

"Being crazy was the only thing that kept me from going insane."-Raven (ECW Wrestler)

"The world is full of kings and queens, who will blind your eyes and steal your dreams"-Raven (ECW Wrestler)

"Let me tell you something, man -- anger is a negative energy -- you need to shake that right now." -Rob Van Dam (WWE Wrestler)

"If the eyes are the windows to the soul, you're not going to like the view."-The Undertaker (WWE Wrestler)

"I won back my respect when shaking hands with you at No Mercy. It is all fun 'til you get caught. I'll be okay."-Eddie Guerrero (R.I.P)

"Your human body is the most impressive tool you'll ever own. Even though you can't control everything, you can always control something. Your body... use it... amuse it... because one day... you're gonna lose it!" -Jeff Hardy (WWE Wrestler)

"But what’s it really done? Where have we really come to? Lying in a hospital bed in Munich, Germany, watching my ear being thrown out into a garbage can, not being able to take it on the trip back because I don’t know the German word for formaldahyde, and having a nurse walk into my room, looking at that piece of my body that’s laying in the bottom of the garbage, and saying “es ist alles ein grosser Witz”, which means it’s all a big joke. Excuse me, I didn’t know, do you open up the lungs of a smoker and say “oh my golly, I thought smoking was supposed to be good for you?!” Do you open up Terry Funk’s non functioning liver and say, “oh I didn’t know that four decades of heavy drinking took this kind of toll?!” So if they show that much respect to the patients, then what made me any different? Because I was a wrestler. And professional wrestling will never be respected, no matter how many teeth I lose, no matter how many ears I lose, no matter how many brain cells have to die!"-Mick "Cactus Jack" Foley (WWE Wrestler)

"Foreigners frighten me. They're from other countries, and I don't know how to deal with that."-Eric Young (TNA Wrestler)

"What do you see right now? You see exactly and only what I choose to show you. That is illusion Ivy that is the lie that I tell your eyes. Makin' the magic happen in the moment, in that split second. I can shape it, I can shift it, I can make it as real as this room. That is why I am valuable here Ivy and that is why you are not. I am sorry, I love you, I never wanted it to be like this, you know that."-Buddy 'Aces' Israel (Movie, Smokin' Aces)

"Forget about what you thought you were and just accept who you are."- Maya (Movie, Jeresy Girl)

"Man cannot live on porn alone."-Maya (Movie, Jeresy Girl)

"Sometimes the path you are on is not as important as the direction you are heading. For, no matter if you take the Holland Tunnel or the George Washington Bridge you get to New Jersey, so long as you are heading west. The procedure involved in your path to Nirvana may meander, but a road worth traveling is will have its twists and turns." -Kevin Smith (Director)

"You gotta boil it down to the essentials. It's like Cube says, "Life ain't nothing but bitches and money."-Jay (Movie, Chasing Amy)

"the craziest motherfu*ker you'll ever meet in your entire life... Not maliciously! I don't want to hurt nobody."-Sean Waltman

"*nods* Sorry. MMA is on free tv. and holy crap. it's even more homoerotic than wrestling... for gods sake, the man had the other man's legs wrapped around him for about 3 minutes. I know gay porn when I see it."-Sarah (Personal Friend)
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"A man who sells his soul for love has the power to change the world."-The Orignal Rider (Movie, Ghost Rider)

"Advancement Will Come With Hardwork" - Fortune Cookie (March 6, 2007)

"Doubt fucks everything. Take a foundation, no matter how strong, sprinkle generously with doubt, and watch it crumble. Me? I'm unfuckwithable. Not this knee, not bad weather, and certainly not the many men that wish bad intentions on me can stop me. I rise up, not like a phoenix, but like the zombie corpse of Dick Murdoch. This brainbuster is for you."-CM Punk (ECW Wrestler)

"Ray Charles died today. There's talk of putting Ronald Reagans big head on ten dollar bills, but I'd much rather reach into my wallet and see a smiling Ray Charles looking back at me. What the hell did Reagan ever do besides fuel a cold war? Stupid republicans. Ray Charles kicked heroins ass, overcame poverty, and even though he was blind, became one of the best piano players in the world. The guy had soul. The fucker even knew when that little black kid was trying to steal a guitar from off his wall in blues brothers! Reagan never did shit like that. This proves my theory that Ray Charles was really Daredevil. Ben Affleck is a pussy. Where's the multi state c-span 24 hour weird mass viewing funeral for a talented musician? Ah fuck it, I've gone off on another tangent."-CM Punk (ECW Wrestler)

"Maybe the ghosts have a glass ceiling? Break through that glass ceiling ghosts! I plan to!!!!"-CM Punk (ECW Wrestler)

"An elderly man was trying to find a place to sit and observe the Olympic Games, as he went to each section. All the other Greeks laughed as he tried to make his way through. Some ignored him. Upon entering the Spartan section all the Spartans stood and offered the elderly man their seats. Suddenly the entire stadium applauded. All the Greeks knew what was the right thing to do, but the Spartans were the only ones who did it."-Xenophon

"Emo is putting people in choke holds."-BJ

"I'm sorry did you just compare wrestling to Nascar? Yes Tony, wrestling is staged. But you failed to mention that wrestling is also AWESOME. Or did you not see Wrestlemania XXIII, when Shane McMahon ripped off his shirt and it turns out HE was the new referee. Nobody saw that coming! It made Wrestlemania IX look like Wrestlemania XVIII. I’ve watched all of them, and that’s the point."-Stephen Colbert

"Can't you see you're not making Christianity better, you're just making rock and roll worse?"-Hank Hill (TV Show, King Of The Hill)

"It's your fault I was born in New York and I can't drive my truck and I tried a bagel and actually liked it. No, no more lies -- I loved that bagel!"-Hank Hill (TV Show, King Of The Hill)

"What the hell kind of country is this where I can only hate a man if he's white?"-Hank Hill (TV Show, King Of The Hill)

"[We've been playing God]...and now God is playing God with us and He's a whole lot better at it."-Dale Gribble (TV Show, King Of The Hill)

"...Which is why so many people are suddenly allergic to peanuts. The peanuts are emitting toxins as an evolutionary defense mechanism. They're tired of being eaten, and now they're fighting back."-Dale Gribble (TV Show, King Of The Hill)

"Life's like a dang ol' Rubik's cube, man. You move all the colors around and when you get one side you mess up the other side, man."-Boomhauer (TV Show, King Of The Hill)

"In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power. Then when you get the power, then you get the women."-Tony Montana

"I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand? That piece of shit up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him. For all I know he had me set up and had my friend Angel Fernandez killed. But that's history. I'm here, he's not. Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don't, then you make a move."-Tony Montana

"Relationships? Well, Sigmund. Relationships are so... fragile. It just takes one thing, one... tiny little offense, and it can snowball on ya. And if that snowball starts to pick up speed, God forbid, you'd better tuck and go, my friend."-Dr. Cox

"My God, newbie, it's been two furiously frustrating years. How is it possible that you still don't get me? I would never compare you to the gays. I like the gays. I like their music. I like their sense of style. I especially like what they've done with Halloween, but our thing is that you are a little girl. That's who you are."-Dr.Cox

"Lemme ask you a quick question: are you trying to make my head explode? Because you have no idea just how frustrating it is working your ass off trying to inflate a tiny little balloon inside somebody's clogged artery when all that person has to do, really is--oh, I don't know--go for a walk in the morning or choke down a fresh green salad. And you come back here looking like that? And, I know here, I know I'm supposed to be Dr. Give-A-Crap, but you wanna hear the God's honest truth? And this is a fact: you are what you eat. And you clearly went out and devoured a big fat guy, didn't ya?"-Dr. Cox

"I guess the easiest way to lose something is to want it too badly."-J.D.

"You go do that, and I'll go find God, quit drinking, get in touch with myself emotionally, and we'll meet right back here at half past impossible, mm'kay?"-Dr. Cox

"Women in general SUCK at raising kids. That's right, I said it! Who wants some? C'mon! When a woman sees a kid putting a penny in a light socket, what does she do? "NO!" You smack that little hand. "Well there!" But when that kid's five, getting smacked in the hand is no big deal anymore. Men see the exact same kid putting a penny in a light socket and go: "No no wait wait...shh shh shh shh...well go on!" -electricity sound, lights dim- "Not gonna do that again are ya? I know it hurt. Shot your ass about 8 feet, I saw. Get up. Yes your eyebrows will grow back.""-Christopher Titus

"You wanna know the best part of that story? Y'know, where my mother shoots and kills a man? The guy had like two acres of land up there in Idaho, and he's the one who took her out and taught her how to shoot. [laughs] What a dumbass! Hey guys, here's a tip: if you're gonna beat her, don't teach her to fire the weapon!"-Christopher Titus

"So heres the thing. Shes giving me a blow job right? And the TV is on and, well you know Mind Of Mencia? Well he starts ranting about something and then starts shooting off a string of profanity and ends it with Cocksucker. My girlfriend turns and looks at the TV and says 'Who you calling a cocksucker!'... and I tell her to shut up and get back to work!"-[Name Withheld Per Request]
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"What I'm trying to say is that if there's any change in future music, good or bad, it sure as hell aint cause of drugs. There isn't one MM song that was written stoned. Not one MM album that was recorded stoned. I know it sounds boring but it's true. I tried! Didn't work! Boo drugs! Oh yeah, enough of the God stuff already, you're making me nervous!"-Dave Wyndorf

"You know what I would have given for a death scene like this? Too bad I won't get to read the notices."-Clayface

"This is how it ends, Joker. No big schemes, no grand fight to the finish with the Dark Knight. Tomorrow, all the papers will say is that the great Joker was found blown to bits in an alley, alongside a miserable little nobody. Kinda funny. Ironic, really. See, I can destroy a man's dreams too. And that's really the only dream you've got, isn't it?"-Charlie

"All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative."-Rupert Thorne

"Chance, Grace. Chance is everything. Whether you're born or not, whether you're good or bad, whether you live or die. It's all arbitrary."-Two Face

"Are you the dreamer, or merely part of somebody else's dream?"-Mad Hatter

Batman: Sometimes, old friend, I wonder if I'm really doing any good out there.
Alfred: How can you doubt it? The lives you've saved, the criminals you've brought to justice-
Batman: I've put out a few fires, yes. But the war goes on, Alfred. On and on...

"Do nothing wrong, play by the rules, be a good person…do everything right…it doesn't guarantee you anything."-Owen Hart

~

"If she chokes her to death - will that be Shimmer's first death match?" - Allison Danger

"Andy, would you come to my Hello wedding?" "To your Hello wedding?" (chuckle) "Are you alright?" "No. What are we doing? Selling ourselves, selling everything. Happiest day of my life, oooh quick better do the invites, bake a cake, and get a press tent. Must have a press tent, it's a wedding! You know I must see pictures of myself with other people I'm in a program with. Oh and now I'm pregnant, we must televise the birth, quick let's see if we can get Ruby Wax to present it. Maybe it'll make Jimmy Carr's '100 Greatest Caesarians'." (Sigh)

I'm not having a go at you. I'm just sick of these celebrities just living their life out in the open all the time. Why would you do that? It's like these pop stars, who choose the perfect moment to go into rehab and call their publicist before they call a taxi, and then they come out and do this second autobiography. It's called 'Love Me or I'll Kill Myself'. Kill youself then. And the papers lap it up. They follow us round and think we're important, and that makes us think we're important. If they stopped following us around and taking pictures of us people wouldn't flock to the streets and go 'I need a picture of Cameron Diaz with a pimple'. They'd go on with something else. They'd get on with their lives.

You open the paper, and you see a picture of Lindsay Lohan getting out of a car, and the headline is 'Cover Up Lindsay We Can See Your Knickers'. Well of course we can see her knickers, your photographer is lying in the road pointing his camera up her dress to see her knickers. You're literally the gutter press. (deliberately into his shirt-mic) AND FUCK YOU THE MAKERS OF THIS SHOW ASWELL. You can't wash your hands of this. You can't keep going 'oh, it's exploitation but it's what the public wants'. No. The Victorian freak-show never went away. Now it's called Big Brother, or Pop Idol where in the preliminary rounds we wheel out the bewildered to be sniggered at by multimillionaires. (points at the camera) And fuck you for watching this at home. Shame on you. And shame on me... I'm the worst of all. Because I'm one of those people who goes 'oh I'm an entertainer. It's in my blood.' Yeah it's in my blood because a real job's too hard. I would love to have been a doctor, too hard, didn't want to put the work in. Love to be a war hero... too scared. So I go 'oh, it's what I do'. And I bollock someone if my cappachino's cold or if they look at me the wrong way. Do you know what a friend of mine once said? They said I'll never be happy because I'll never be famous enough. And they were right.

(faces the camera) And if you're watching this, I'm so sorry. You're my best friend, you're my only friend. And you never did anything wrong. And out of everything else, I'll never do that. I'll never treat you like that again. (tears) You asked me a stupid question once and I could have answered it and I didn't because I was- I'll answer it now. I'd be the penguin, because I could eat the flying fish. I know what you're thinking, why doesn't the fish fly away? But they can't really fly, they just sort of glide and flap. They should be called glidey flappy fish.

I'm so sorry."-???

“I just watched the Pillman DVD. I can’t believe how many of us are gone. Is it ever gonna end?”-Chris Jericho

"Religion binds you. It's like being horrendously constipated. Faith breathes. It frees you to become everything you were meant to be."-Kathy Lee Gifford

"A man chooses, a slave obeys."-Andrew Ryan

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